The time of the bike is here. We're being shoved off trains, trams, and buses alike by the government, as we forge our way towards a society of professional social distancing experts.
As someone who hasn't been in a car for 8 weeks now (a personal record for non-university time) it seems fit for me to announce the beginning of the Dutch revolution coming to these fair shores. In many parts of the UK, public transport is non-existent and a distant dream of the big city folk.
Having been banned from the non-existent public transport and the local gym I had frequented (very often obviously) - over thirty minutes car drive away - it was decided in my blonde little head that perhaps it would be a good idea to actually use something called a bicycle.
3.3 Billion miles were travelled in 2018 on the framed vehicle above according to Cycling UK and it's just the beginning according to my own mother (a highly reputable source).
Many of you may have heard of this invention, first invented in 1817 by a German. A man called Baron Karl von Drais, a civil servant to the Grand Duke of Baden.
Fast forward to this here year of 2020 (christ I'm old) and having now used this strange invention nearly every day for the whole lockdown - for a range of trips, from shopping to leisure raids of the beautiful countryside - I would strongly recommend.
People have said to me: "but how do you have time?" - I reply: "how many hours did you spend looking at your phone today?" Because in reality, being bored on a bike is a beautiful experience of time to think and ponder, question revolution, get angry with the council for unfilled pot holes, and have arguments with yourselves on whether or not to buy that new set of spades (if you're into that). It also has helped my mental health, getting outside and away from my phone for an hour or so a day.
I have invested in a bike that, at first glance, is out of reach for most people. It was £999 (0% finance) and has an electric motor fitted. The wonderful thing about an electric bike, over that of a normal bike, is that it:
A. can support you through going over 3 miles to get the shopping, replacing the second car in the household (saving thousands to spend on other fun activities like your record collection).
B. It has no road tax, insurance, and can cut the amount of income tax you pay...
C. Requires no gym membership.
D. It uses electricity - potentially powered via that annoying/stunning wind farm over the road.
To summarise: it's cut back fat, spending, allowed you time to get away from your phone, given you something to tell the relatives about at lunch (over Zoom), and you've enjoyed going over 40 Km on a bicycle...
The only problem: the car driver that nearly killed you, and the next one, and the one after that. As someone who's traditionally a car driver and wondered why cyclists are A**EH*LES and arrogant, I've discovered it's because so are people in cars.
This is often why I cycle on the empty pavements, if there is one, in the Sussex countryside (getting off the pavement when approaching a pedestrian or on a blind corner).
It's clear the Government is going to have to spend a lot of money revamping Britain's road networks to prepare for this impending invasion of dutch influence but in the longer term, hopefully cut pollution, obesity, and road accidents.
What's not to love?