By Chloe Martin, Editor of Lifestyle
Photo credit: Henri Pham - Unsplash
I have been through and succeeded in keeping my long-distance relationship during my three years at university, let me share some of my tips with you freshers.
The amount of relationships that fail not long after they’ve moved away is very common. An American study from 2018 suggests that long-distance relationships have an 58% success rate, which I guess isn’t great but it’s also not awful. It is possible people!
It’s most likely that moving away to university is your first time having a long-distance relationship, and let me tell you, it’s a learning curve.
Before I went off to university in another city, leaving my boyfriend in my home city to study, we were both scared of what it might do to our relationship. I had many say that I was going to miss out on ‘typical uni things’ just because I was in a relationship. They were basically just saying that I’ll miss out on having one-night stands and hook-ups. I wasn’t bothered by this in the slightest because I was already happy in my relationship.
But I can see how it’s easy for people to get in your head.
I’m not going to sit here and deny the fact that long-distance is not a struggle. I hate to break it to you, but this is probably going to make or destroy your relationship, which can be terrifying. But here are some tips that should help you keep a healthy and balanced long-distance relationship:
The amount of relationships that fail not long after they’ve moved away is very common. An American study from 2018 suggests that long-distance relationships have an 58% success rate, which I guess isn’t great but it’s also not awful. It is possible people!
It’s most likely that moving away to university is your first time having a long-distance relationship, and let me tell you, it’s a learning curve.
Before I went off to university in another city, leaving my boyfriend in my home city to study, we were both scared of what it might do to our relationship. I had many say that I was going to miss out on ‘typical uni things’ just because I was in a relationship. They were basically just saying that I’ll miss out on having one-night stands and hook-ups. I wasn’t bothered by this in the slightest because I was already happy in my relationship.
But I can see how it’s easy for people to get in your head.
I’m not going to sit here and deny the fact that long-distance is not a struggle. I hate to break it to you, but this is probably going to make or destroy your relationship, which can be terrifying. But here are some tips that should help you keep a healthy and balanced long-distance relationship:
- Make time to talk everyday, and I mean, everyday even if you’re busy. A lack of communication can kill a long-distance relationship. If there’s no communication, there isn’t a relationship. Moving to university can be overwhelming at times, with new friends, work and surroundings, but if you want to keep your relationship you have to chose talking as one of your priorities. There are 24 hours in a day, so a half an hour call and a few texts here and there won’t harm a busy schedule.
- Be transparent. Feelings are scary. But hiding them can make things worse or damage your trust with one another. If you’re feeling a certain way, say. It’s much better to openly talk about how you feel because this will certainly bring you closer.
- Visit each other. It’s a two-way street! If you’re both not making that effort to organise a date to visit or book tickets to see each other then it won’t work. Setting a date will give you something to look forward to and plan some fun activities to do while you’re there.
- Organise fun activities to do online. Try to do things you would be doing if you were together, like streaming a film or playing a game which will help you feel closer and gives you something to take your mind off of not literally being with them. Thank God for technology hey!
- Being Jealous is ok, but there’s a limit. If you’ve both moved away to different universities, there are undoubtably going to be new friendships made and new people in the picture, but you can’t let this crowd your relationship. The first year of university for a long-distance couple is a true test of trust and commitment, you have to let each other meet new people even though it can be worrying.
When you visit each other, spend some time with each other’s flatmates or friends to help you get a feel of who they are for yourself. This should ease your worrying because then you’ll know the types of people who your partner is hanging with when you’re not there. - If you have an argument, sort it straight away. There’s no doubt you’re going to have arguments when you’re away from each other for the first time. But when you do find yourself in that sticky situation, aim to resolve the issues straight away over the phone. No one likes arguing over text.
You need to hear each other’s voices and emotions.
Quick note: I understand some of this won’t be possible during this awkward and frankly frustrating time, thanks COVID, but stick with it and remember what you’re fighting for. Trust me, it’s worth it.
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